i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
