Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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