Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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