There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Sext me about skeletons
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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