Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
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