My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
