dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She's not a foreskin expert like you
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
