I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
