Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I woke up under a house in Key West
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
