I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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