we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
