idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
