What a fucking waste of an outfit
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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