Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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