he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
