I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
