Someone shit on the floor
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
