Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
