a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
