You're earring is so big in my mouth
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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