Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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