I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
