if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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