Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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