haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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