Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize
