I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
we're making bets on your personal life
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
