Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
