All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
