Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
