i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
