im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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