Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Pooping to opera.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
