I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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