Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
