Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
