Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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