Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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