She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
it's not cheating when I paid for it
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
