the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My feet surprised me
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