come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
