I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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