i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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