his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
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