For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
