Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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