I'm eating all of the evidence.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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