I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
