my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
