Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
