can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
