I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
