Dignity is for republicans.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
