the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
