if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Apparently you make a good broom.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
